Seven Lessons I Learned in 2020 by Haylee Swayze

One of my favorite authors, Bob Goff, writes "on the other side of an epic fail can be equally epic beauty and authenticity, which can only be born out of understanding our desperate need for love, grace, and help." I find this quote fitting as 2020 comes to an end and we prepare for a new year. I am sure we have all heard the word "unprecedented" more times than we can count in regards to 2020 and rightly so. There has been loss, civil unrest, economic instability, and an overwhelming feeling of loneliness. In retrospect, I have learned the importance of loving others, seeking grace, and asking for help. I wanted to share a few platitudes that I have gathered from a year of growth.

Find the silver lining: Growing up I have great memories of spending time with my older brother Cole. The best days were in the summer when our mom and dad were at work and our biggest worry was finishing the chores before mom came home (which was usually done right before their arrival). With our six year age gap I spent my high school years at home while he was away at college. After completing a master's degree, Cole started medical school in Tulsa, Oklahoma at the same time I began my freshman year at Rice. We kept in touch as much as a full-time medical student and division 1 athlete could, but when we were both sent home this past summer because of COVID we rekindled our summer days at home. They looked a little different from when we were younger. Our days consisted of a greeting in the morning, going to our rooms to study, and ending the evening with a casual game of badminton in the backyard. The timing could not have been better either. Cole got married in August and I returned to Rice a few days after the wedding. I am so grateful for the unexpected time for our family to grow even closer. I do not want to diminish the difficulties many people faced during this time but rather reflect on the sweet moments that came out of a troubling time- the slow mornings, extended time with family, and a paradigm shift to appreciate the things we took for granted.

Silence is compliance: As our nation heals from the deep wound of social injustice, it has brought to surface the comfort I have been able to live in by staying silent. I remember texting a teammate over quarantine wanting to reach out about the disparity, but was scared I might say something wrong. She responded with understanding and encouragement to learn about the oppression of African Americans and our unconscious biases. I am so thankful for her influence in my life and the monumental African Americans who have been catalysts for equality in our society. My hope is our country continues with intentionality to create a world that sees everyone as equal, that stands in solidarity with one another, and does not grow weary along the way.

Have a posture of readiness: I remember contemplating what life would be like in a different era, would there be less hate and divisiveness? Would I always have to avoid large social gatherings? Does the grocery store have any toilet paper? As many hypothetical situations I created, I knew I couldn't wish them away. I started to ponder the thought, what if our generation was chosen for these challenges, what if we are planting the seeds for future generations to harvest?

If anything, this year has exposed our fragility and lack of control. You can approach this from an angle of fear or a posture of readiness. We faced a decision when preparing for this basketball season and the countless unanswered questions. Would we even have a season? Will we play non-conference? What happens next? At the time we did not know the answers and all we could do was prepare. Prepare for a season, prepare for the next opponent, prepare ourselves for whatever happens next. I believe this to be applicable in life. We do not get to choose when we are born, we do not always choose our circumstances and all you can do is prepare. It may be one of the toughest situations to prepare for the unknown but it is better to be ready than to wish you would have been. I could not have gotten through quarantine without the help of my teammates and coaches. Working for something bigger than myself pushed me to a posture of readiness.

Find the humor: If you are from Texas or know someone who is, you know they are very proud to be a Texan (no hate). From my first summer at Rice to now, I still get comments about being from Oklahoma and I need a new comeback besides "we are still on top" (referring to our geographical position above Texas). However, the comments were at an all-time high over quarantine when the glorious show Tiger King was released. If you have not seen it, I don't know whether to recommend it or not because you now know I live about forty-five minutes from where it was filmed...I will leave that up to you. Although the show is not a representation of the whole state, it led some people to believe so. I will always be proud to be from Oklahoma but never too proud to laugh that a dramatic series over a tiger zoo was filmed in my home state. Laughter really is the best medicine.

Create joy in the mundane: What is normal can become different depending on how you perceive it. Our "normal" lives were disrupted by a global pandemic and we lived in a different reality. I created a new routine, a new normal, and life felt mundane. Wake up, attend class, workout, sleep. I found that I needed to create my own joy, like sending a zoom chat to see someone's reaction in class, or having a cup of coffee on the bench my dad and I built together. So when life feels mundane or you are having a bad day, find a moment of joy to get you through it.

Learn something new simply because you want to: During quarantine I wanted to pick up a new hobby. When exploring my options my mind went immediately to what is going to give me the best return on investment. What can I learn that will make me smarter or more talented? So I bought a piano keyboard. I was hoping maybe it was a talent I had not uncovered and would only take a few weeks to master, that's how it works right? Not exactly. I am so grateful for the athletic genes my parents passed down but unfortunately, that did not include anything related to music. I was humbled early on when I had forgotten all that I had practiced in a week. Maybe one day I will dust off the keys and try again but in the meantime it taught me to enjoy learning something new simply because I want to and not to impress someone else.

We are better together: I wanted to end on this one because it is my focus for the new year. I have never been big on new year's resolutions because I believe we can choose to better ourselves any day of the year. However, I do sit down to reflect on one thing I would like to implement throughout the year. I am writing this to hold myself accountable and I am inviting you to join me to make this a year of showing up for each other. The relationships we create now will be what we lean on in times of devastating crisis and in times of immense triumph. May we carry each other's burdens, seek grace from one another, and walk in love.

Here's to a new year and to doing it together.

Calendar

Upcoming Events

Recent Results